<center><b><u>Trigger Warning:</b></u>
The following story contains references of:
- suicide
- self harm
- abuse
- rape
- very dark thoughts
This is a pure work of <b><i>fiction</b></i>
but these topics should not be taken lightly.
If you are struggling, please don't stay quiet.
Reach out because you are not alone.
You are your worst enemy.
(css: "color: red;")[https://www.crisistextline.org]
*Sidenote: the author of this story is <b>A-OKAY</b> (:
There is no need to worry.
[[Please enjoy the story.|Truth or Dare]]</center>Have you ever wondered what your inner demons might say?
[[Yes]] or [[No]]Even if you don't truly want to know...
You need to.
[[The truth hurts...]]Have you ever wondered what your inner demons might say?
[[Yes]] or [[No]]You are:
[[Male]]
[[Female]]You are:
[[Straight|Straight]]
[[Gay|Gay]]You are:
[[Straight|StrightG]]
[[Gay|GayG]]<b>Bio -
Gender:</b> Female
<b>Age:</b> 21
<b>Status:</b> Single
<b>Schooling:</b> Away in university
<b>Housing:</b> In the dorms
<b>Siblings:</b> 2 Sisters.
<b>Major:</b> History
[[Continue| Story2.1]]
<b>Bio -
Gender:</b> Female
<b>Age:</b> 19
<b>Status:</b> Single
<b>Schooling:</b> Away in university
<b>Housing:</b> In the dorms
<b>Siblings:</b> Only Child
<b>Major:</b> Psychology
[[Continue| Story2]]
<b>Bio -
Gender:</b> Male
<b>Age:</b> 21
<b>Status:</b> Single
<b>Schooling:</b> Away in university
<b>Housing:</b> In the dorms
<b>Siblings:</b> Had a little sister
<b>Major:</b> Psychology
[[Continue|Story1.1]]
<b>Bio -
Gender:</b> Male
<b>Age:</b> 20
<b>Status:</b> Single
<b>Schooling:</b> Away in university
<b>Housing:</b> In the dorms
<b>Siblings:</b> Is an only child.
<b>Major:</b> English - Creative Writing
[[Continue | Story1]]You move into your dorm room the night before classes begin. It's already your third year in University and you're on schedule to graduate in a year, completing the four year plan your parents have drilled into your head.
It was a struggle to convince your parents that you wanted to be an English Major. But you managed to prove them wrong by winning a small contest in high school. They've finally accepted that you have talent.
To take a break from some of your major work, you’ve enrolled into a basic 1 credit university introduction class. You took this class to keep your GPA at a steady 3.7.
[[You arrive to class early to pick a seat| G1]]
People file into the classroom and your professor walks into your classroom. It was a very integrative class for all levels and all majors. You don’t recognize this professor or any of the other students in the class.
And you definitely hadn't see him before either.
He’s tall and lean, but there’s still small bulges of muscle lining his arms. His muddy eyes meet yours and you can’t help but to smile at him. Most of the seats had already been taken, so he walks over to the seat next to yours.
[["Can I sit here?"|Sit1]]
You engage in small talk.
His name is Dean.
It was a brief conversation before the professor cuts the two of you off to begin class. You can’t help but keep peeking over at him while the professor is going over the syllabus. The professor talks about how this is a safe place for everyone and that everyone should be respected for their opinions. She breaks everyone into groups for an interview assignment that’s due next class.
Since you and Dean are sitting next to each other, you end up being partners.
[[The two of you plan to meet outside of class in his dorm room| G Part 1]]
Later...
You arrive at Dean’s dorm. He’s waiting in the lobby to let you into his dorm. You head upstairs to his room. He’s quite a minimalistic person with barely any decorations on the wall.
“So I guess we need to get to know each other, huh?” He says. “Why don’t we make the assignment more interesting instead of of just asking questions. Might as well make it fun, right?” He laughs.
You agree and laugh with him.
“Truth or Dare?”
You say, [["Yes".|G Part 2]]
[[Truth|GT1]] or [[Dare|GD1]]
He says:
"What's your worst fear?"
[[You say...|GT1R]]
There’s a knock at the door. Dean gets up and answers. You recognize two of your old friends standing in the doorway. They spot you and one of them waves at you while the other asks for Dean’s absent roommate. He turns them away.
"You know them?”
You don’t answer.
“I dare you to go chase after them and ask them to join us.”
[[You...|D1R]]
“Maybe ending up alone?”
(css: "color: black;")[You’ve built your walls so high and so strong. You planned to observe others from a distance, but you felt a growing loneliness and you let people in.
That was your biggest error.
You let them protect you through trust, and they grew to be your wall instead. You let them guard you from the outside who appeared more threatening. But you should have seen. While they "guard" you, what do you see?
You see their backs turned towards you.
You realize it's too late, your walls have been breached by demons
who posed as angels, knocked down from the inside out, leaving you vulnerable. The ones closest to you cut the deepest and left apparent scars
all because you trusted]
[[Continue|GRule 1]]
Rule number one:
don't let anyone within the walls.
Your biggest fear has also become your greatest desire.
[[Continue|GNext1]]
You ask him a question and he answers easily. His turn is over before you know it and the question is back to you.
[[Truth|GT2]] or [[Dare|GD2]]
You get off the bed and walk over to the door. You stop with your hand on the handle, unable to open the door and call out to the two of them.
You can still hear them laughing and you could picture yourself there with them like last year.
(css: "color: black;")[Three never works. One always gets left out. Not on purpose maybe, but it happens. You tried to keep the three of you together. At the peak of the relationship you finally told them that you were gay and they were okay with it.
They said they were ok with it and didn’t treat you any differently than before. But you knew it a gap appeared between the three of you. You could feel them getting closer to each other and you got more distant.
It wasn't your fault.
The air has gone tense and your mouth has dried. Your neck feels like it's being crushed every time you try to swallow. It hurts more to breathe now than when you had a noose around your neck from when you realized you had already been left behind.]
[[Continue| DRule1]]
(css: "color: black;")[You couldn't stand their smiles that grew fake and their words that became shallow.
The caring that never existed because you happened to be different.
You no longer mattered.
Everyone has someone else and they had each other.
And you had no one.. not anymore.
You let go of the handle and turn back to Dean. You walk over to the bed and sit next to him.]
[[“I guess I fail this dare,” you say meekly.|GNext1]]
“Who would you take a bullet for?”
[[You say…|GTR2]]
He struggles to think of a dare.
So he switches it to a truth instead.
“Did you play any sports in high school?”
[[You say… |GD2R]]
“My best friend.”
(css: "color: black;")[You say your best friend, but you’re no longer friends anymore.
It was in high school. You were young and you couldn’t stop the feelings that were welling up inside of you. Your eyes were following all of his moves and you became cautious when he was around. He noticed your lingering eyes and grew cautious.
He didn’t mention anything but you could see his unease at times. You pulled away a little and gave him room to breathe. Your friendship kept blossoming.
You finally revealed that you’re gay.
And he asked if you liked him.
You couldn’t say no.
He laughed and said he already knew. You could only feel embarrassed and wondered if it was that obvious.
It was that obvious.
Soon everyone at school knew about your feelings.]
[[Continue|GRuleT2]](css: "color: black;")[The bullying had begun.
He turned his back towards you, not wanting to become a victim himself.
Yet for some reason, you still chased after him.
You could still see his warm smile in your mind and hear his laugh in your eyes.
You heard first loves never worked out.
But you didn’t want to believe it.
Maybe it was because you’re <i>gay.</i>]
[[Continue | GNext2]]
You barely remember asking her the question.
But you did and suddenly it was already your turn again.
He asks the question and you don’t respond.
He doesn't press you on your experiences when he sees the discomfort in eyes.
It was as if he could see right through you. Through the ambiguity of your short answers. It was clear that he had seen horrors too.
He says,
[[“If you ever need anyone, I'm here.”|Found]]
“Briefly.”
(css: "color: black;")[You had played baseball for most of high school.
But that changed when your secret was spread throughout the school. The whispers and the bullying became unbearable.
Your teammates no longer felt comfortable changing around you.
<i>Because you’re gay.</i>
Whenever you walked into the locker room they yelled at you to get out until they were done. They threatened you with the bats that once raised your confidence when you began hitting home runs to not look at their half naked bodies while changing.
You slowly stopped going to practice and then you quit.]
[[Continue | GNext2]]
<center>You're not alone no matter what your inner demonds might whisper in your ears at night when you lay in bed alone. When the darkness consumes all the light in your eyes, blink it away and reach out.
Your inner demons tell you that you should be punished for something you shouldn't. They make you believe you're worthless and don't deserve anything. Their whispers are tempting as they guide you to the edge of an abyuss, promsising that your pain will end here if you just jump.
Don't go.
Don't listen.
Just.
<i><b>Don't.</i></b>
Someone <i>will</i> find you.
Because you're <i>not</i> alone.
If you feel like you need help please visit:
(css: "color: red;")[https://www.crisistextline.org]</center>
You moved into the dorms as early as possible. You never liked being at home and wanted to leave quickly. The few days before classes begin are quiet. You don’t meet your roommate the night before classes. From the beginning, when you saw all of his family helping him move in, you knew you’d probably not get along too well.
You’ve enrolled into a basic 1 credit university introduction class to hopefully help raise your GPA. You’re not failing, but you’re at a solid 2.9 hoping to get to at least a 3.0.
[[You arrive to class a little before the class begins.| S1]]
People have already filed into the classroom and your professor walks into your classroom. It was a very integrative class for all levels and all majors. You don’t recognize this professor or any of the other students in the class.
You hadn’t see her either.
She looked exactly like your sister.
You take your first step towards her but another girl takes the only seat next to her.
You glance around the room and make eye contact with another guy, sitting alone with two open seats on either side of you.
You walk over and ask,
[[“Can I sit here?”|Sit2]]
You engage in small talk.
His name is Lucas.
It was a brief conversation before the professor cuts the two of you off to begin class. You can’t help but keep peeking over at the girl who looks like your sister while the professor is going over the syllabus. The professor talks about how this is a safe place for everyone and that everyone should be respected for their opinions. She breaks everyone into groups for an interview assignment that’s due next class.
You want to be her partner but the teacher disagrees.
Since you and Lucas are sitting next to each other, you end up being partners.
[[The two of you plan to meet outside of class in your dorm room| S Part 1]]
Later...
You wait in the lobby for Dean. When he arrives, you let him inside and the two of you head upstairs to you room.
You joke about how you need to know each other and urge to make the assignment more interesting than a basic question and answer.
The two of you laugh and agree to make it interesting, settling on Truth or Dare.
“So I guess we need to get to know each other, huh?” He says. “Why don’t we make the assignment more interesting instead of of just asking questions. Might as well make it fun, right?” He laughs.
You agree and laugh with him.
You ask the first question and he answer with a short answer.
[[It’s your turn.| Question]]
[[Truth|ST1]] or [[Dare|SD1]]
“Are you an only child?”
[[You say...|ST1R]]
Lucas looks around the room. His eyes land on you guitar and then are brought back to you.
“You play?” He asks.
You nod and pick up your guitar.
“I dare you to play me a song.”
[[Continue|SD1R]]
“I had a little sister.”
(css: "color: black;")[It’s not something you like to talk about lot.
It was just one mistake.
One time when you weren’t paying attention.
And now she’s gone.]
[[Continue|Question2]]
You play a song that you wrote when you first began attending your AA meetings after the incident.
<i>You were my light,
the only thing that shined so bright in my life,
And I was high as a kite,
That stupid fuckin’ night…</i>
Your voice cracked and you stop singing and playing.
You couldn’t continue without reliving the nightmares that haunt you in your sleep.
You place the guitar beside the bed and lean back in comfort, pulling your arms into a fold before directing the game at him.
[[Continue|Question2]][[Truth|ST2]] or [[Dare|SD2]]"Have you ever done drugs?"
[[You say...|ST2R]]
Dare:
“I dare you to take a shot.”
You ask of what, then take it back.
(css: "color: black;")[You no longer drink and turn the dare down immediately.]
[[Continue |SQuestion3]]
“Once.”
(css: "color: black;")[And never again.
Not after what it did to your sister.
You were too high to remember all of the specifics. The both of you were.
You had just turned 18 and she conned you into buying her things she couldn't at her age. There was alcohol and an array of questionable drugs.
Neither of you could stand the yelling that occurred in the house. Even if it was for a little, you both wanted to forget it all. The two of you went to the neighborhood park of your small town and drank using concealed bottles.
She smoked and ate the edibles as did you. The world began to slightly spin and you had finally laughed for the first time in so long. You felt high on life with your head in the clouds and your body light.
Until there was a scream and a screech which forcibly dragged you down to earth.
Headlights became the spotlight, highlighting her bloody body on the street road she had wondered in. Cars normally never came through this area, but this one had.
And for whatever reason, he was speeding.]
[[Continue | SNext2]]
“Are you even going to do another dare?” Lucas asks curiously.
You shake you head, not feeling too up for it.
[[Truth|ST3]].
(css: "color: black;")[Your only support, gone.]
[[Continue |SQuestion3]]
"Are your parents still together?"
[[You say...|T2R]]
“Yes.”
(css: "color: black;")[They're still together and you should be considered one of the lucky ones. But they don't hear the fighting that happens behind closed doors. The slamming ones throughout the house. They don't see the mutual abuse that's cooled with ice packs and covered with long clothes, even during the hottest days.
They should have split. Then you would have felt better. Considered them lucky for once.
But they didn't.
Because you were still in elementary school when it began and when the discussion of a divorce first landed on your dinner plate that one evening. They didn't want to have to make you choose a side. You or your sister.
And you didn't want to.
But when your sister passed, you were the reason they continued their brutal ways.
The reason they're still together.
The reason they and you, still suffer.]
[[Continue|Next3]]
He doesn't press you on your experiences when he sees the discomfort in eyes.
It was as if he could see right through you. Through the ambiguity of your short answers. It was clear that he had seen horrors too.
[[He says, "I'll always be here if you need someone to listen to."|Found]]You’ve moved into the dorms like every normal person. Your family mom helped you move in but then left immediately after dumping your stuff into your room. You’ve been lucky enough to score a single room so you don’t have to worry about any roommates. You’ve locked yourself into your room until the first day of classes.
To take a break from some of your major work, you’ve enrolled into a basic 1 credit university introduction class.
[[You head to class.| GG1]]
The walk to class took longer than expected and you’re one of the last people to arrive to class. People have already filed into the classroom and your professor walks into your classroom. It was a very integrative class for all levels and all majors. You don’t recognize this professor or any of the other students in the class.
You spot a cute girl on her phone and walk over to her.
You ask if you can sit there and she says [[yes.|Partners]]
You engage in small talk.
Her name is Anna.
It was a brief conversation before the professor cuts the two of you off to begin class. The professor talks about how this is a safe place for everyone and that everyone should be respected for their opinions. You can’t remember the last time you had a safe space. She breaks everyone into groups for an interview assignment that’s due next class.
Since you and Anna are sitting next to each other, you end up being partners.
[[The two of you plan to meet outside of class in your dorm room| GG Part 1]]
Later...
You and Anna live in the same building. It doesn’t take her long to arrive at your place and the two of you move to your bedroom.
You joke about how you need to know each other and urge to make the assignment more interesting than a basic question and answer.
The two of you laugh and agree to make it interesting, settling on [[Truth or Dare. | Game]]
[[Truth|GGT1]] or [[Dare|GGD1]]
"Let's get deep," she says.
You look at her sinister smile and find yourself smiling too.
"What's the worst lie you've ever told?"
[[You say...|GGT1R]]
“I dare you to draw your family tree.”
[[You…|GGD1R]]
“I’m fine.”
(css: "color: black;")[It's something you always say. It's become a habit to lie through your teeth and smile as you say you're fine when you feel in your chest that you're not.
The tears collect in your eyes, but you bat them away too quick with every blink. If one escapes down your cheek, you play it off as a yawn and that you're just <i>tired.</i>
You're not only lying to others, but yourself.
You want to be fine and if you say it enough maybe it'll happen.. maybe if you act fine and think you're fine, you will be..
You couldn't remember what a <i>real</i> laugh felt like.
But everyone was happy and you couldn't bare to give that up.
It was just a sad excuse.]
[[Continue|Game2]]
You barely remember asking her the question.
But you did and suddenly it was already your turn again.
[[Truth|GGT2]] or [[Dare|GGD2]]
You pull out a piece of paper and pen and begin drawing your family.
There’s your dad, your mom… and you.
You pause, and look at her. You ask if it’s your whole family and she says yes.
(css: "color: black;")[You're hesitant to draw the rest of your family.
Especially your uncle.
After what he did to you, you can feel yourself getting ready to vomit at the through of his name.]
You announce your done and you just drop the pencil and ball up the paper.
[[Continue|Game2]]
Truth:
"Are you a virgin?"
You stare at her a few seconds before getting ready to answer.
"No, no." She laughs. "Too personal?"
[[You laughs with her and say...|GGT2R]]
You dropped the dare.
You revoked your choice and decided to choose truth.
[[Continue |GGT2]]
"I not."
(css: "color: black;")[He may not have been trying to get into your pants, but your uncle had. You had always heard those horror stories, seen it talked about in movies, on the news, but you never expected it would have happened to you.
You wondered why he chose you to fulfill his needs.
Maybe it was because you looked more like your mother.
The woman who had him wrapped around his fingers until your dad stole her heart and got married then pregnant with you.
Who knows?
You were barely 8 years old when the first attack happened.
So young]
[[Continue | GGNext1]]
Apparently you already asked her the question though your memory has become a bit distorted.
But you did and suddenly it was already your turn again.
[[Truth|GGT3]] or [[Dare|GGD3]]
“What’s the worst thing you’ve ever seen?”
[[You say… | GGT3R]]
You’ve decided to cop out again.
[[Continue |GGT3]]
“A monster in my bedroom.”
(css: "color: black;")[You were too young and your curiosity got the better of you.
You heard the noises that summer when your uncle came to visit and should have stayed in bed. But your dry mouth urged you to get up and get some water.
That's when you saw.
Through his cracked door, beating to a photo of your mother. He stopped at the creak the floor made in passing and your eyes met with his. You assumed he'd get mad and shut the door, but he got mad and used your curiosity against you.
You already knew you didn’t like guys and this just made it worse.
You couldn't remember anything at the time except pain and tears streaming down your face.
<i>Curiosity killed the cat, right?</i>]
[[Continue |Next2.1]]Your eyes feel like they're about to release tears.
Her eyes look as if she’s about to cry too. You don’t press her for any more questions. She asks one more question and you answer before reaching out.
Her hands are cold, but yours are warm.
She squeezed your hand when you told her that you’re there for her since she had seen her own horrors.
[[“If you need anyone.. I'm willing to listen.” |Found]]
You move into your dorm room the night before classes begin. It's already your third year in University and you're on schedule to graduate in a year, completing the four year plan your parents have drilled into your head.
To take a break from some of your major work, you’ve enrolled into a basic 1 credit university introduction class.
[[You arrive to class early to pick a seat| SG1]]
People file into the classroom and your professor walks into your classroom. It was a very integrative class for all levels and all majors. You don’t recognize this professor or any of the other students in the class.
You sit in the corner, and pulled out your phone.
Suddenly there’s a girl heading in your direction and asks if the seat next to you if open.
You say yes and she sits down.
[[Continue |SGSeat]]
You engage in small talk.
Her name is Rachel.
It was a brief conversation before the professor cuts the two of you off to begin class. The professor talks about how this is a safe place for everyone and that everyone should be respected for their opinions. You can’t remember the last time you had a safe space. She breaks everyone into groups for an interview assignment that’s due next class.
Since you and Rachel are sitting next to each other, you end up being partners.
[[The two of you plan to meet outside of class in Rachel’s dorm room| SG Part 1]]
Later...
You and Rachel live in the same building. It doesn’t take you long to arrive at her place and the two of you move to her bedroom.
You joke about how you need to know each other and urge to make the assignment more interesting than a basic question and answer.
The two of you laugh and agree to make it interesting, settling on [[Truth or Dare. | SGGame]]
[[Truth|SGT1]] or [[Dare|SGD1]]
"Have you ever been in love?"
[[You say…| SGTR1]]
You phone lights up and you see a familiar name.
She asks who that is and you say it’s no one, but she can tell you’re lying.
“I dare you to call him.” She urges.
[[You.. | SGD1R]]
“Yes.”
(css: "color: black;")[It was magical.
He was a dream-like light that set your heart aflame. He whisked you away in his pace, serenading you in white lies coated with sweet words.
It was perfect.
He was perfect.
Or so you thought.
You were naïve since it was your first love.
The first time feeling that burning in your chest and hearing the words "I love you" from someone other than your family. Only he didn't mean it.
Your love made him perfect.]
[[Continue | SGNEXT]]
Her answers are brief and it’s your turn once again.
[[Truth | SGT2]] or [[Dare | SGD2]]
You unlock your phone and call him.
Each ring makes your heart pound faster.
You pray he <i>doesn’t</i> answer.
(css: "color: black;")[You hadn't talked to him since the break up. He was one of the few you had dated. Your second boyfriend.
His you remember his words being opposite of his touch. All his touches had dyed your skin black and blue.
He was the reason you fell in love with pain.
The throbbing on your skin and the ache in your bones kept your mind off the thoughts that chewed at you while you tried to sleep.
It became a punishment for any sins that lingered in the back of your subconscious.
You pull you hand away and shake your head in disapproval. You get up from the chair and apologize for the random intervention and head back to your table.
He had such sweet eyes and a smile to make your heart scream while your actual screams were muffled in fear of being caught.
It gave you a reason to cry.
Something that didn't seem petty and self-absorbed.
A reason to want to end it all.]
[[Continue | SGNEXT]]
“Do you believe in perfection?”
[[You say... | SGTR2]]
She had been copping out of the dares, so you did the same.
[[Continue | SGT2]]
“I <i>want</i> to.”
(css: "color: black;")[Your two older sisters were nearly perfect.
At least compared to you.
They were twins, engaged to two successful men.
While you’re on the edge of breaking down behind fake smiles at family gatherings.
You wear multiple bracelets on your wrists to hide the bruises left from your “lover” who would never be caught in public with you. You wear choker necklaces, not because it’s in style, but because it calms you to feel something tightly wrapped around your neck.
Your long blonde hair paired with ocean blue eyes and fair skin inherited from your German mother. You keep your hair long because you’ve been told it’s easier to pull. You diet and go to the gym so the guys continue to long for you while hiding away from the sun to keep your skin as pale as possible.
Because bruises appear easier on lighter skin.
You’re anything but perfect under your clothes, but for a second, under the worship of your looks, you want to believe you’re perfect.]
[[Continue | SGfinal]]
She’s barely paying attention to the questions.
She’s not asking any more question so you ask her again another, barely able to stay focused on your own answers.
She stops looks into your eyes then slides her hand over to yours, her fingers coiling with yours.
She had a warmth you were unfamiliar with. .It was something sweet to the point cavities might form.
It was as if she could see right through you. Through the ambiguity of your short answers. It was clear that she had seen horrors too.
[[“If you ever need anyone, I'm here.”|Found]]